It’s after 3 p.m. on the Friday of Labor Day weekend and I’ve got that wonderful holiday on the brain. But where do people travel for Labor Day? They go home. Most people want to spend this aptly-named holiday doing the opposite of labor. On it, we want to relax. We want to spend time actually enjoying the people we’re with rather than just bumping into each other to accomplish the things we want to do. We want to eat, lounge, and nap. We want to take advantage of what might be one of the last weekends hot enough for the pool. That’s Labor Day. So what does a travel writer have to say about it?

Well, here’s my idea. There’s an art to successful group travel, and let’s face it: You’ll probably spend a bit of this weekend in a group. Here are some tips I’ve learned from group travel tours that might be just the ticket to make your Labor Day smooth, meaningful, and totally hassle-free.

Pick a leader

This may seem obvious in a family, but listen. If Mom or Grandma doesn’t or can’t take charge for the family gathering, somebody’s gotta. Hopefully there won’t be as many decisions to make at the family barbecue as there would be on a tour of New York City, for instance, but there’s still a huge benefit to having that one person everyone looks to when the decisions are a draw. When should we eat? Hire a babysitter and go to the movies or watch the marathon on t.v.? Kids upstairs or down? Where do they fill the water balloons?

I’m just saying. Questions will arise. Somebody has to take responsibility for the answers.

Be Flexible

Like rubber band-flexible only more so. This is the ultimate key to hanging out in a group, especially if you want to get anything done. Things go wrong. Inevitably one person is going to have a stronger opinion than you. And there’s just so much to consider. Take it upon yourself to not care. Find your inner comic relief – that person in a movie or television show who doesn’t take anything seriously, can break the tension in any given room, and lets anything and everything roll right off their back. You’ll have a more peaceful experience if you do, and everyone around you will too.

Common denominators are your friend

For group travel, I like to recommend a theme – something the group can agree on as a basic focus for their trip. This makes it easier to choose which attractions to include. And when you’re in a family gathering, though everyone will hopefully follow the classic conversational rule of avoiding difficult topics, it’s important to find common denominators. Think of things you can all not necessarily agree on but at least that you can all converse about and feel a part. Keep things positive. Keep them light, if necessary. And learn to steer a conversation toward those common themes when things get too one-sided or tense.

Spend at least part of the day together

For group travel, you’re bound to hear these words at least once, “Let’s all meet back here at….” And yet, when we get together as a family we might spend the entire weekend separated by gender or age or other group dividers. I come from a lot of faith on all sides of my family, so we usually accomplish the togetherness thing at the very least before meals when we gather to pray. If that’s not a part of your family tradition, there are many other ways to bring everyone together. How about cards? A Pitch tournament or Nertz (have you heard of Nertz? SO FUN) are both perfect for family gatherings. Maybe your family members all love movies; gathering around a big screen tv totally counts for togetherness. And since it’s Labor Day – the ultimate outdoor holiday – there are tons of  other options. How about kite-flying or a family softball game? Volleyball is always a favorite for large groups too.

No one wants their entire weekend scheduled – that’s why we have Labor Day, after all. But don’t be afraid to organize at least one big moment that gathers the whole clan for a similar activity. They might grumble and complain at first, but they’ll thank you in the end. (At least, they’ll want to.)