It happened to me in college. It came out of nowhere, hit me with something more like a matter of fact than a life-changing epiphany, and has stuck with me ever since as an unfortunate but very possible truth. I may never see the Eiffel Tower in person.

It didn’t exactly break my heart, but it was sobering. I realized as a girl from a small town in Missouri without high pursuits in fashion or entertainment or investments, there probably wouldn’t be much in my life to require me to be in Paris. And I wasn’t exactly on track to make the kind of money that makes that sort of travel easy.

And I guess it was kind of like that old saying, if a tree falls in the woods will anyone hear it? Because I sort of wondered if I never saw the Eiffel Tower in person, was it real?

Of course it is. I know that. But you have to admit in this life filled with special effects and media bias and all the things that color what actually is, you can’t really be sure of something until you see it in person for yourself. Even though it would be ridiculous not to believe in the Eiffel Tower, I can’t really know if it’s beautiful or not. I can’t know how it feels to stand next to it, to experience the view from the top, to even be in the city over which it holds court, unless I go there for myself.

So, that was years ago. Have I been yet? To the Eiffel Tower? No. I’ve written about it while describing international student tours that literally make me swoon with hope and delight. And yet I haven’t been.

But it’s on the list. I keep a list – actually, I change it all the time. Its title? What I Want. And on it I put the places I want to see, the things I want to accomplish, and the things I want to do every day. For me, the problem in the past was  that the Eiffel Tower just wasn’t high enough on the list. And that’s okay. New York City is higher on the list for me than Paris, and this June? I’m going there. It’s part of a trip for work but will include all the sightseeing I could possibly want minus only the extended hours to explore and take in all I’ve seen. I can’t wait to go there armed with a camera and a journal as I capture all the things I have up to that point only heard about.

After that trip, I’ll come home to my husband and children. For me those things are at the top of the list all the time, especially the list that includes what I want to experience every day. The Eiffel Tower comes somewhere after that on a list of things I hope to do but which I will only pursue when the daily things and the family things are all beautifully in place.

Do you have a list? Have you decided what you want to see or do so much that if you only had one day to live, that’s what you would choose? Do you know the things that matter most to you? Do you have a jar where you save for the Eiffel Tower types – the things on your Someday-if-I’m-lucky list? Because I guarantee you, if you don’t – you’ll never see the Eiffel Tower either.

Photo by Marcio Cabral de Moura on Flickr.